Woot

Dream Big

The only limit is your imagination ... and maybe your Internet connection.

Doctor, I’m really worried about my husband. I think he has rickets. We never go anywhere anymore because he’s afraid he’ll miss something good on TV, so he hasn’t seen the sun for 10 years. Last week, I tried to draw the curtains so I could open the window to let in some fresh air. He HISSED at me. What would you suggest?

No, I don’t think a divorce is the answer. I was thinking something more like vitamin D supplements, or a specialized diet of milkshakes and salmon. Scurvy? Yeah, I guess that wouldn’t be any better. I’m just at the end of my rope here, so I’m grasping at straws.

You know, I did hear about that Sling Media Slingbox Pro-HD. I hear you can connect it to up to three devices like your DVR, cable box and DVD player and then watch from anywhere on your PC or Mac. Maybe that way I can finally get him to take me on that trip to Branson. What do you think?

No, I don’t think he needs a shrink. He just needs a way to watch his favorite shows in stunning HD over the Internet. I really think the Sling Media Slingbox Pro-HD might be the solution! That way, he can just take his laptop to dinner with us at Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede. Oooh! And maybe we can even dress up and get one of those old timey tin-type photos at Silver Dollar City. Yeah, I guess maybe the computer would ruin it.

That’s it! I’m going to get him one. Thanks, Doc! By this time next week, I’ll be engaged in the fine craft of whittling while enjoying a delicious stick of rock candy. And he’ll be right by my side, viewing his TV schedule with an on-screen program guide and pausing, changing channels, and fast-forwarding and rewinding with a virtual remote control. You hear that, Momma?! Sometimes dreams really DO come true!

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

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Warranty: 90 Day Sling Media

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• Connect up to three home theater sources, such as your digital video recorder (DVR), digital cable set-top box and DVD player/recorder
• Take complete control of your home theater via the web with the comprehensive and easy-to-use on-screen remote control and program guide
• Watch your favorite shows in stunning HD over the internet on your PC or Mac laptop or desktop computer—from anywhere
• Control your digital cable box, satellite receiver, DVR or DVD player. Access music channels or video-on-demand
• Full set of pass-through connections. Easily connect to any of the thousands of compatible standard-definition (SD) or HD sources. Component, composite, S-Video and ATSC connectors
• Adaptive video technology. Ensures the clearest picture possible at any given location
• With SlingPlayer software (download sold separately) watch and control your TV and all of its programming on your compatible tablet or smartphone
• Uses an App on tablets and smartphones, uses standard browsers on computer, even watch on Facebook

Additional Photos:

• Ports
• Package Contents

Specifications: I/O Ports: RCA Audio (LR)
S/PDIF Audio
Component Video
Composite Video
S-Video
Coaxial
USB Source Control: IR Emitter Network: 10/100 Base-T Ethernet RJ-45 Display: (3) Front LEDs:
Status
Network
Power Power Requirements: 5V/4A Power Cord Length: Approx 5 Feet General: SlingPlayer System Recommendations: Network Bandwidth:
HD Viewing: 1.5 Mbps or higher
SD Viewing: 384 Kbps or higher
Mobile Viewing: 250 Kbps or higher

Minimum PC Requirements:
HD Viewing: Intel 2.4 GHz Core 2 Duo class processor or equivalent with 2GB of RAM. Video acceleration support desirable on graphics card
SD Viewing: Pentium 4 class or equivalent with 512MB RAM
OS: Windows Vista or Windows 7 with latest updates
Browser Support: Internet Explorer 7 or higher, Firefox 5 or higher

Minimum Mac Requirements:
HD Viewing: Intel 2.8 GHz Core 2 Duo class processor or equivalent with 2GB of RAM
SD Viewing: Intel-based Mac with 1GB of RAM
OS: Mac OS 10.6.x (Snow Leopard) or later
Browser Support: Firefox 5 or higher, Safari 5 or higher Supported Audio and Video Sources: Basic Cable TV Set-top Box
Digital Cable Set-top Box
Digital Video Recorder (DVR) such as TiVo, Comcast, ReplayTV, DISH or one provided by your cable/satellite provider
DVD Player/Recorder
HD component input support with resolution up to 1080i (down-converted)
Satellite Receiver such as DIRECTV or DISH
Video/Security Camera
Apple TV
Windows Media Center Physical: Dimensions: 13.25"(W) x 5.63"(D) x 2.38"(H) Weight: 4 lbs

 

In the box:

• Sling Media SB300-100 Slingbox PRO-HD
• Ethernet Cable
• Coaxial Cable
• Composite A/V Cable
• Component Video Cable
• S-Video Cable
• Stereo Audio Cable
• Remote Control IR Cable
• AC Adapter
• User Guide
• Quick Start Guide

 

Discuss this product
Price: $169.99I want one!

Ghost Trix is another one of those movin' stuff around games that looks easy but then turns terribly hard.

 

 

When you start, you'll have to solve an easy puzzle. If you can't get this first one, just sit quietly and wait for the Soylent Green truck to come and pick you up. But if you can, great! That's basically what you'll be doing for the rest of the game!

 

 

Of course they won't all be as easy as that first one. And there is a puzzle component to the game. Like if you let a falling ghost touch one of those thin South Park people, the person turns into slime and you lose the level. Also sometimes you'll get a puzzle like this:

 

 

and you'll have to take a break for a few hours to stop swearing. But if you like solving things, and moving ghosts around, then Ghost Trix is a challenge for YOU! And remember to post your score in the comments, as the highest post by Monday will be our Quality Post Winner!

 

The Computer For The Cool Kids

I do most of my reading in line at this place called Burrito Camión, so I love my HP TouchPad 32GB Wi-Fi Tablet.

Yeah, that’s right, a taco truck with Wi-Fi! The first day it pulled up outside my hip, newly gentrified apartment it was like I had died and gone to Heaven. But naturally, in a cutting-edge youth-oriented neighborhood like mine, Burrito Camión was crowded from day one. At first I figured “Hey, no problem! I’ll just read a few articles on my laptop as I wait!” Only… well, I guess if you’ve ever tried to carry a heavy laptop, a double guac burrito, a soda, a cup of salsa verde, some refried beans and a surprise bag of complimentary chips to thank you for being one of the first one hundred customers, you know that something’s gonna give. And, sadly, that something was my burrito. I was in tears, man. Tears.

But now, it’s been two weeks. And I’ve got an HP TouchPad 32GB Wi-Fi Tablet instead of a laptop. It lets me surf the net, send email, watch movies, and pretty much anything my laptop could do, all on the 9.7 inch screen. Except now I’m holding something that’s much easier to hold in one hand, and that gives me 50% more burrito space in Hand B.

It does kinda hurt that the guy who runs the truck has started calling me “Uncle Burrito Drop” but he gave me an extra scoop of guac so I guess he was just kidding. Maybe I’ll use my HP TouchPad 32GB Wi-Fi Tablet to friend him on Facebook and we can be Internet BFFs. Can you imagine? Being friends with a guy who runs a taco truck? It’s like the modern-day equivalent of hanging out with The Beatles!

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

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Warranty: 90 Day HP

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• Front and center is the 9.7-inch diagonal, LED-backlit, glossy multitouch display with IPS wide viewing-angle technology
• With HP webOS you can search the web while writing email. Reply to a notification while scrolling through a playlist. Or update your Facebook® status just by starting to type. It’s so intuitive, you just think about what you want to do, not how you have to do it
• Immerse yourself in entertainment and gaming action. Transfer your favorite songs from your personal collection and take them to go. And listen to your music with amazing sound quality thanks to Beats Audio™
• Have a face-to-face conversation with video calling on a large, vibrant screen, using the integrated webcam and digital microphone
• Next level multitasking – Get a simple, natural way to move from one thing to the next. Have related activities automatically grouped together
• HP Synergy – Get contacts, calendars, messages, photos, and email automatically synced from sources like Facebook, Google, and Microsoft Exchange
• Download movies and TV shows, play games, listen to music, read books and magazines, and view photos
• Receive a snapshot of new messages, e-mail and events without being totally disrupted. Act on what’s important—ignore what’s not

Additional Photos:

• Power & Volume Control
• Speakers & microUSB Port
• Back
• Package Contents

Specifications: Display Size: 9.7" diagonal Display Type: LED Backlit Multi-Touch (capacitive) Resolution: 1024 x 768 (XGA) Color Depth: 18-bit Viewing Angle: IPS Wide Viewing-Angle Technology Screen: Multi-Touch Glass Display with a Special Coating for Easier Cleaning & Abrasion Resistance Processor: 1.2GHz Qualcomm Snapdragon Dual-Core APQ8060 Memory: 32GB Graphics: Qualcomm Adreno 220 Core Video Formats: MPEG-4, H.263, H.264 Audio:

• Internal stereo speakers and Beats Audio™
• Integrated Microphone
• 3.5mm Stereo Headphone Jack
• Microphone Jack

Audio Formats: DRM-free MP3, AAC, AAC+, eAAC+, AMR, QCELP, WAV Wireless: Dual-band 802.11 a/b/g/n with WPA, WPA2, WEP, 802.1X Authentication Bluetooth: Bluetooth® 2.1 + EDR with A2DP Stereo Bluetooth Support Camera: Front-facing 1.3MP Camera & Digital Microphone for Live Video Calling Power & Battery: 6300 mAh (typical) Lithium-Polymer Mail Attachment Support:

• Microsoft® Exchange email with Microsoft Direct Push Technology
• POP3/IMAP (Yahoo!® Mail, Gmail™, AOL, Hotmail®, etc.)
• Messaging Integrated IM, SMS, and MMS

Environmental Requirements: Temperature:

• Operating - 32° to 104° F (0° to 40° C)
• Non-operating - 14° to 149° F (-10° to 65° C)

Relative Humidity:

• Operating - 10% to 90%, non-condensing
• Non-operating - 5% to 95%, 101.6° F (38.7° C) maximum wet bulb temperature

Altitude (unpressurized):

• Operating - 0 to 5,000 ft (0 to 1,524 m)
• Non-operating - 0 to 40,000 ft (0 to 12,192 m)

Physical: Dimensions: 9.45"(W) x 7.48"(H) x 0.54"(D) Weight: 1.6 lbs

 

In the box:

• HP TouchPad 32GB Wi-Fi Tablet
• HP TouchPad AC Charger
• microUSB Sync Cable
• Getting Started Guide
• Navigation Guide

Discuss this product
Price: $194.99I want one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever invited people to a ski resort and had everyone show up with ping pong paddles? And you were like, “Guys, what the heck? I said we were skiing!”? And your friends were all like, “We thought ping pong was the same as skiing”? And then there was nothing they could do but try to tape the paddles to their feet and ski down the mountain that way? Except you didn’t want to ski anymore because you didn’t want to be seen with a bunch of paddle-footed novices?

Well, I have. Metaphorically speaking.

You see, last week , I put out a research survey for The Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership. The prompt was: “The best way to achieve your dreams and build a better future for you and your family is...” Well, much to my surprise, the most popular answer wasn’t “to study business at a prestigious, cutting-edge university.” Instead, you guys thought it would serve your future better to “trip and fall into a bunch of nettles.”

Well, you’re wrong. And here’s 3 reasons why:

1. It’s hard to hang nettles on the wall in your office: So, maybe you’re proud of your nettles. Fine. But how are you going to show them off? After all, they’re really hard to hang, since very few companies make nettle-shaped frames. Really, your best bet is to just hold them up and hammer a nail right through them, but then you have to wear gloves in order not to get stung. With a degree from a cutting-edge university, it’s much easier. First off, there are all sorts of frames that it’ll fit into, and you don’t need to wear gloves to hang it up, unless you’re allergic… TO SUCCESS!

2. Tripping and falling into nettles shows a lack of commitment: It can take years to finish a business degree program. Tripping and falling into a bunch of nettles, on the other hand, takes between 10 seconds and 5 minutes (and even then, it only takes 5 minutes in extreme cases, like if you’re tripping and skydiving into a bunch of nettles). Sure, the accelerated nature of the falling-into-nettles path makes it more convenient than the traditional degree, but here’s the thing: the world of business isn’t always convenient. In fact, taking the easier path shows that you lack patience and commitment, which can be a big turn off to potential investors and business partners.

3. If nettles were good for business, there’d be more alpaca CEOs: Read through the list of the 100 highest-paid CEOs in America, and you’ll be able to count the number of alpacas on one hand. Even if that hand doesn’t have any fingers. And isn’t a hand at all. And is really just a sort-of invisible, appendage-free blob thing. What I’m getting at is, there are none. So what does this have to do with nettles? Well, alpacas eat them. Willingly. I rest my case.

Go ahead and try to argue with this flawless logic in the comments section! I dare you!

 

Just one more job.

He was a retired assassin, living the good life and watching TV...

“Shade.”

“Colonel Starbreak. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here looking for a man of your…talents.”

“I’m retired from the Special Forces, Colonel. And from the life of a black market assassin.”

“Well, I can- Holy crap, you weren’t kidding about being retired. Jeez, you’ve really let yourself go.”

“What do you want? I’m retired. I took my severance and bought this refurbished RCA 32” 720p LCD/DVD Combo HDTV. And I’ve been burying my shame and dulling my pain with it ever since”

“That’s all your severance bought? We really have to take better care of our veterans.”

“So what’s the gig? Need a warlord assassinated? Daughter of a politician need rescuing? Want me to infiltrate some underground crime ring?”

“Uh, actually nothing. I think someone else will be more qualified.”

“Nonsense! Look, I might be above my fighting weight, but I’m still the best damn operative you ever had. I’m the only one with the skills and the knowledge-”

“And the chins.”

“Don’t do that. I’m a highly trained killing machine.”

“Do your legs even work any more?”

“Only one way to find out, I guess. You gonna tell me what the job is?”

“No, I think I’m good. Say, isn’t Band of Brothers on? Don’t wanna miss that, right?”

“Good point. Leave the dossier on my mini fridge, Colonel. I’ll get started with the op asap.”

“Uh, right. See you later then.”

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

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Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• RCA 31.5” viewable LCD HDTV features a crisp 1366 x 768 resolution and serves multi-purposes with features for video games, PC monitor and HDTV
• Allows you to enjoy your favorite DVDs without the need to purchase a separate DVD player. A single remote control controls all functions of the TV and the built-in DVD player
• HDMI combines uncompressed digital audio and video signals into a single cable for high-definition sources. Various types of inputs of the TV allow you easy connection to your devices such as a PC or a video game console
• With a 3000:1 contrast ratio, the TV produces darker blacks, brighter whites and more vivid colors
• Enjoy vivid pictures from virtually anywhere in the room
• Fast response time of 6.5ms generates clear motion scenes
• RCA LCD TVs comply with RoHS requirements

Additional Photos:

• Built-in DVD Player & Controls
• Ports
• Remote Control
• Package Contents

Specifications: Class: 32" Viewable: 31.5" Panel Resolution: 1366 x 768 Signal Compatibility: 1080i, 720p, 480p, 480i Contrast Ratio: 3,000:1 Colors: 16.7 Million Aspect Ratio: 16:9 Response Time: 6.5ms Brightness: 450 cd/m² Viewing Angle: 176° / 176° Pixel Pitch: 0.5107 x 0.5107mm Comb Filter: 3D Tuner: ATSC, NTSC Connections: HDMI: 4 Component: 1 Composite: 1 VGA: 1 Audio out: 2 Antenna Input: 1 Headphone-out: 1 Audio in (PC Stereo): 1 Digital Audio Output: 1 USB: 1 (service) DVD Player: Signal Source for DVD: DVD/SVCD/VCD/CD/JPEG Speakers: 8W x 2 Power: Main Power: 100-240V/50~60Hz Power Consumption: <150W Standby: <1W Additional Features: Refresh Rate: 60Hz Panel Type: CCFL, LCD V-Chip: Yes Remote Control: Yes Noise Reduction:  Yes Sleep Timer:  Yes OSD Menu Language:  English/French/Spanish/Optional Dimensions: With Stand: 31.0"(W) x 21.7"(H) x 8.0"(D) Without Stand: 31.0"(W) x 20.1"(H) x 5.5"(D) Weight: With Stand: 26.7 lbs Without Stand: 22.5 lbs Wall Mount Specifications: Hole Pattern: VESA Standard

 

In the box:

• RCA 32LA30RQD 32” 720p LCD HDTV with Built-in DVD Player
• Remote Control
• Stand

photo credit: grafixer

Discuss this product
Price: $209.99I want one!

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

SANDWICH, England (UPI) -- Residents of Sandwich, England, are celebrating the 250th anniversary of the invention of the sandwich, first ordered by the fourth earl of Sandwich.

1762 marked the year John Montagu first ordered the dish that would be named after his peerage, which thankfully saved the world from having to fill their mouths with the far less appetizing "hot open-faced john."

 

 

NEW DELHI (UPI) -- India's Supreme Court has ordered a halt to a government plan to reintroduce the cheetah, wiped out in India by hunting nearly a century ago.

The court says that spending money on the big cat would send a mixed message to young people taking their final exams, a group that must learn early how cheetahs never prosper.

LONDON (UPI) -- Conservationists say they hope to reverse the decline of one of Britain's most threatened birds, the turtle dove, and save the species from possible extinction.

Sources say the first step is to stop people from giving away two of them every Christmas.

 

 

OXFORD, Conn. (UPI) -- A Connecticut company has created an action figure based on Patricia Krentcil, the woman accused of allowing her 6-year-old to join her in a tanning bed.

And the world said "Oh." as one.

BURBANK, Ill. (UPI) -- A woman in suburban Chicago was found stabbed to death in her bathtub, in the gown she wore at her wedding, officials said.

Police say they'll begin the search by questioning anyone suspected of writing an ironic '50s novelty song.

Bathroom from ellenm1 and Two Turtle Doves from Rockinfree are used under a Creative Commons License

It's fair to say people are more enlightened about species conservation today than back when we intentionally hunted "nuisance" animals into extinction. And there have been some restoration success stories. But in some places, things are actually getting worse. Climate change, habitat destruction, and poaching continue to threaten species around the world, from whales to polar bears. Just last year, the Eastern Lynx and Western Black Rhinoceros were declared extinct. Can you name these eight species that today we can only see through paintings, photos, and stuffed specimens?

Answers are here. Please post your guesses, speculations, or arguments below! But know this: the Trivial Eye is presented for public amusement and no prizes are offered other than that familiar feeling of aggravation that so much of your mind is occupied by useless trivia.

 

Back On The Pull List

Some time later, at the long table within the Penthouse of Evil, members of the Chaos Conglomerate await a very special arrival…

The Yellow Detonator: All I’m saying is that, as the mirror version of The Ogre, one would assume you’d talk, you know, normally.

Nega-Ogre: RRWWWARRGMONNMO!

The Drunk Heckler: Hey. HEY! That didn’t make any schence! Whadda coupla of LOSCHERS! You both sch… sch… oh no…

Doctor Eclipse: Ugh, for Evil’s sake, will someone get Heckler some coffee or something? Huge Dictator, what is the meaning of all this? I could be plotting the demise of Sunboy and Moongirl this very moment!

The Cosmic Entity Known As Paul: FO REALZ I GOTZ SPACE-SLUGZ 2 DFEET U NO LOL

Day-Puritan: The heretic and the abomination have a point, foul as they may be. I have a Nightwitch to burn, good sir. I shant be kept from my divine destiny much longer.

Huge Dictator: All in good time, my villainous fiends. Once Aridus the Desiccator arrives, all shall be revealed. Ah, here he is now!

Aridus the Desiccator: Greetingssss, moissst onesssss. Ssssay hello to my good friend Hydronaut, Prime Minisssster of Atlantissss!.

Nega-Ogre: RAWROO?

The Yellow Detonator: Okay, see, now that I understood.

Doctor Eclipse: YOU WITHERING IDIOT! You’ve led a member of the Super League of Heroes right to us!

Huge Dictator: Has he? Despite that induction ceremony you may have seen on television, I assure you that Hydronaut is well under my control, especially with his precious underwater civilization currently being occupied by MY aquatic death robots. Isn’t that right, Prime Minister?

Hydronaut: You just remember the deal, Huge Dictator.

The Cosmic Entity Known As Paul: OMG WTH DEEL?

Huge Dictator: It was simple. I figured once Hydronaut here became a full-fledged Super League member, they’d put him on monitor duty, seeing as how aquatic powers don’t work so well on land. Once among all their computers, he downloaded the Super League Protocols, a set of files detailing how to defeat each and every member of their little group put together by The Retributator.

The Drunk Heckler: Schtupid paranoid freHIC… freHIC… looney! He’s not better than me. YOU THINK HE’S BETTER THAN ME?

Day-Puritan: Silence, drunkard! But how might this betrayer go about transporting such information? Foul magic?

Huge Dictator: No. He used the Centon 64GB USB Sport Drive I gave him. I trust the incredible storage size was more than enough for the files, yes?

The Yellow Detonator: Nonsense! They may be fools, but the Super League isn’t stupid. There’s no way they’d let him walk out of there with a flash drive like that.

Huge Dictator: They would if they didn’t know it was WATERPROOF, wouldn’t they, Hydronaut? Now hand it over.

Hydronaut: Take it. Now release my people at once!

Huge Dictator: Oh, come now, Prime Minister Hydronaut. Our little plan has only just begun, and Aridus has been so looking forward to spending some quality time with you.

Hydronaut: Bastard! Mark my words, I shall bring the power of the planet’s ocean down on your head for this!

Huge Dictator: I’m sure I’ll be shivering in my space boots aboard my moon base when that happens. Gentlemen, rough him up but be quick about it. We have much planning to do.

 

Warranty: Lifetime Centon

Condition: New

Features:

• Centon’s DataStick Sport is the perfect drive to withstand the bumps and bruises of the daily grind
• Built with a waterproof and shock silicon resistant case, this drive is guaranteed to keep your important data safe
• USB flash drives are small external hard drives that can easily be connected to computer peripherals such as keyboards, mice, printers, and digital cameras to conveniently store, share and transfer your data
• Waterproof up to 1.8M
• Shock Resistant Silicon Casing
• Leak-proof Cap Design
• Carabineer Clip
• Plug & Play
• Works with Windows & Mac

Specifications Technology: Waterproof USB Capacity: 64GB Interface: USB 2.0 Speed: Standard Speed Write Speed: 3 MB/s Read Speed: 3 MB/s RoHS: Yes Color: Black Operating Temp: Commercial (0 to 70 C)

 

In the box:

• (1) Centon RCDSW64GB-001 64GB DataStick Sport Drive

 

Discuss this product
Price: $29.99I want one!

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. A Blank Sheet of Loose Leaf Paper vs. Pyrotechnics in terms of What You Want in Your Mini Fridge

Pyrotechnics in a mini fridge? What a contrast, right? Something built out of heat and light inside of a cold, dark box. How poetic, don’t you think? Well, here’s the thing: poetry is expressed through words on paper, not fireworks in a fridge. You want to write about it? Fine. But don’t crowd up my mini fridge (small by definition) in the name of poetry and expect me not to complain.

Advantage:

A Blank Sheet of Loose Leaf Paper (by default)

2. A Bee’s Knees vs. A Cat’s Pajamas in terms of What Would Actually Make You Look Cooler

A cat doesn’t wear anything to sleep. Thus, saying you’re wearing "the cat’s pajamas” would essentially be the same thing as saying you’re “in your birthday suit,” which is to say, you’d be naked. Now, a bee’s knees may look cool on a bee, but they’re also microscopic, and oftentimes what looks good tiny will appear off-putting and alien when blown up. What I’m getting at is this comes down to your own body image. Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? Or would you rather have the joints of an insect than be without clothes?

Advantage:

It's a toss up

3. Swamp Land vs. Ping Pong Balls in terms of Letting Go of Your Inhibitions

Ping pong balls cannot help you lose your inhibitions because they do not model uninhibited behavior. Even in games where the goal is inebriation (a state often associated with a loss of inhibitions), the ping pong balls themselves must be placed into exact, pre-defined spaces in order to bring about change. Swamp land, by contrast, is a place of extreme inexactness. Is that solid ground or not? How deep is that water? What's that swimming over there? When you cannot trust what lies beneath your feet, you have no choice but to cast off your inhibitions and simply march forward into the unknown. In boots. Even if you’ve lost all of your inhibitions, you should still be safe.

Advantage:

Swamp Land

The prestigious Rebuttal of the Week from last week's comparisons goes to user TimDroz who, with one sentence, destroys my argument for why butter is better than a paper cutter in terms of making a young lady's heart flutter:

If someone (perhaps wearing a hockey mask) ripped the blade off a paper cutter and brandished it threateningly in the vicinity of a young lady, her heart would likely do more than flutter.

Can you swiftly embarrass me like Tim did? well, post a rebuttal below, and we'll find out next week!

Photos:"More paper to chop" by flickr user, rmkoske; "Uncertainty" by flickr user, nicubunu.photo; "swamp" by flickr user, MikeLove.. All used under a Creative Commons License.

What more perfect luxury exists than collapsing on a beanbag chair? Haven't you always wished your iPad 2 or "new" iPad could enjoy the same pleasure? No? Well, now it can anyway.

Woot's Real Actual Field Test team tries out the BeanPad iPod accessory, and discovers it works pretty much like you'd expect.

Maybe we should focus group this a little more.

Here’s a slogan for ya: it’s better than trash!

 

You spent what, $400 on that fancy iPad 2? Maybe you just plunked down $500 on one of those “The New iPads” everyone’s excited about. And yet what do you do when you’re trying to watch a movie on an airplane or play a late night game of Fruit Ninja in bed (that’s not a euphemism) and you don’t feel like holding it up? You prop it up on the nearest piece of trash or pair of wadded up socks you can find.

THAT’S how you treat your fancy high-end tablet that does everything? Come on now; you can do better than that.

That’s why you need something like this Beanpad for iPad 2 & Generation 3 “New” iPad!

(As an aside, screw you Apple. You couldn’t just call it the iPad 3? “The New iPad?” Seriously?)

Anyway, the point is you might look at this thing and chuckle and dismiss it as unnecessary junk (are you new here?), but if you’re going to spend money on a peripheral, it might as well be one that keeps your iPad 2 (seriously, don’t buy this if you’ve got a regular old Generation 1 iPad. It won’t fit) propped up, secure, reasonably safe against vibration, and not resting on a day old McDonald’s bag.

And hey, let’s not kid ourselves. You’re kind of lazy. It’s okay! So are we! Noone’s judging here. We’re just saying having a thing to prop your iPad 2 on is probably more exciting than having to hold the thing over your face in bed.

 

Warranty: 1 Year Vantage Point

Condition: New

Features:

• Zenn Movement allows your iPad to virtually float at any angle while providing a hands-free, stable base in both landscape and portrait
• Ideal for at-home use, travel, on-the-go gaming, movie watching and just about any adventure you can dream up
• Easily rotate your display to either landscape and portrait
• Stable and dense, so it’s sturdy where you need it
• Vibration dampening makes it a great choice for avid screen-typers and vehicle use
• Polycarbonate holder allows you to easily pop your iPad in and out to accommodate your busy lifestyle
• Soft, upholstery quality fabric lets you look good without worrying about excessive wear and tear
• Weight on bottom prevents catastrophic dropping accidents
• Completely non-marring, so it’s great for kids and furniture
• Sandwich the Beanpad underneath you car's headrest so you can watch videos in the back seat
• Specifically designed to accommodate Smart Covers (Smart Cover not included)

Additional Photos:

Black

• Portrait
• Landscape
  
• With Smart Cover
• Package Contents

Pink

• Portrait
• Landscape
• With Smart Cover
• Package Contents

White

• Portrait
• Landscape
• With Smart Cover
• Package Contents

Specifications:

• Beanbag Diameter: 6"
• Weight: 2.3 lbs (without iPad)

In the box:

iPad and Smart Cover not included.

• Beanpad TP2BB for iPad 2 & Gen 3 (Choose: Black, Pink or White)

 

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Let’s have a moment of silence for one of the co-founders of modern flight: Wilbur Wright passed on to the great baggage claim in the sky exactly one hundred years ago this month. Poor Wilbur may have succumbed to typhus in 1912, but his invention, we will be reminded this month, lives on. May is also the month we commemorate paper airplanes (May 26 is National Paper Airplane Day!) and the beginning of the summer travel season (Memorial Day is the busiest flying weekend of the year so far). So come fly with Jeopardy! champ Ken Jennings as he debunks some commonly held—but thoroughly untrue—beliefs about airplanes and aviation. He’ll make sure your historical facts are in the upright and locked position, and that your scientific understanding is securely stowed in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of you.

Airplane Myth #3: "D. B. Cooper" Hijacked a Plane for Cash in 1971.

It was the day before Thanksgiving 1971 when a polite, nondescript, fortyish white man in a dark suit approached the Northwest Orient counter at Portland International Airport and booked a one-way ticket to Seattle. But immediately after takeoff, this forgettable man made more of an impression, telling the crew he had a bomb aboard and demanding $200,000 and four parachutes. The man got his cash and parachutes in Seattle and let the passengers go. But when the plane took off again, bound for Reno, the mystery man opened the commuter jet’s rear stairs and jumped out, about ten thousand feet over southwestern Washington. He was never seen again, making this one of the most famous unsolved crimes in history.

"D. B. Cooper," right? Wrong. The hijacker actually bought his ticket under the (no doubt false) name "Dan Cooper." So where did the made-up initials come from? The FBI began their investigation by looking into local Coopers, and there was indeed a D. B. Cooper with a minor Oregon police record. The real D. B. Cooper had nothing to do with the heist, of course—in fact, he was in jail at the time. But an inexperienced UPI reporter, up against a tight deadline, confused the two names and misreported the hijacker’s alias as "D. B. Cooper." Other news outlets ran with the error, and by the time it was discovered and corrected, the public had already latched on to the wrong name.

Dan (a.k.a. D. B.) Cooper is still a mystery man, more than forty years later. Some of the ransom cash was found near Vancouver, Washington in 1980, but Cooper is the only hijacker-for-cash in U.S. history whose identity is still unknown. The FBI feels pretty sure he never survived his risky parachute jump into fame, but they’d like to be sure. Those guys hate it when criminals disappear into—literally—thin air.

Quick Quiz: What TV series’ lead character was also named D. B. Cooper—specifically, Dale Bartholomew Cooper?

Ken Jennings is the author of Brainiac, Ken Jennings's Trivia Almanac, and Maphead. He's also the proud owner of an underwhelming Bag o' Crap. Follow him at ken-jennings.com or on Twitter as @KenJennings.

 

 Wow. That's all we can really say. We got a special advance copy of Diablo III, the biggest game release in years, and put over 100 hours into it. And now, on the eve of its release, we're going to share with you some of our favorite updates to the classic point and click dungeon crawler. You've heard the leaks, the rumors, and the hints at what may be. But only read on if you're ready to find out just how amazing this game is. Here's our list of our favorite features from Diablo III:

 

• Intro cutscene plays out a 120 minute movie about the human condition and demands a small test on what you've watched as "copy protection."
• Deckard Cain no longer asks you to stay, implies maybe you should have visited once or twice in the last decade.
• New "Atheist" class allows you to smugly deny the existence of Diablo.
• Integrated Farmville support.
• Every tree is a unique NPC with a different side quest for the player.
• New product placement contract means Warriors class regenerates health with Mountain Dew powerups.
• Hip retro skins ($39.95 each) make the game look and play exactly like "Tapper."
• To reduce complaints of sexism, all "chicks in chainmail" will be portrayed as 65 years old.
• Players now capture and utilize small "pocket monsters" in their fight against evil.
• Hardcore duel mode replaced with "casual friendly" football simulation.
• Amazing final battle features incredible devil fiddlin' physics engine.
• "Epic Retro Edition" comes with 6,200 floppy diskettes and a map.
• Fully engaging dialogue choices determine what color tunic your character wears during the inevitably disappointing ending cut scene.
• Witch Doctor class is voiced by Morgan Freeman to give him some dignity.
• Newest "Darkest Circle of Hell" level pipes in audio from Xbox Live "Call of Duty" matches.

 

 

In honor of your chance to "cover yourself" in our special music-themed Shirt.woot shirts, Scott's revisiting one of his favorite genres… the cover song! But today's got a twist. Today we're taking a look at those songs where the definitive version isn't the one by the original artist. Does that seem a little complex? Well, let us make it clear with our very first example:

Johnny Cash - Hurt

 

 

Without too much effort, you could probably convince a hardcore Nine Inch Nails fan that Johnny Cash wrote this classic, and that Trent Reznor's maybe NSFW original is the cover. In fact, the opposite is true! Thankfully it's no insult to lose a song to Johnny Cash, because Trent's never getting this one back.

Get the picture? After the jump, we'll be listing some songs where the cover wound up more famous than the original. If you know some of your own, why not throw them into the comments? This has the potential to create the GREATEST PLAYLIST EVER!!

And speaking of playlists, remember our Spotify playlist is up and running. Since last week's post was a tribute to the late, great MCA the comments were mostly reminiscing, and there weren't many links offered. So the theme of this week's mix is Kristy's Favorite Beastie Boys Songs and you know what? It's pretty darn good! After you listen you can catch her hanging out in our Turntable.fm room if you want to tell her that she rocks. But before you do any of that, check out this week's Music Monday selections inside! We'll be waiting for you after the jump…

Jimi Hendrix - All Along The Watchtower

 

 

Do you remember the first time you heard this song? Do you remember the first time you learned it was written by Bob Dylan? And yet, when Bob still plays it in concert today, he's deliberately doing a Hendrix cover. High praise indeed, when the songwriter prefers your version to his.

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

 

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Dolly Parton's sweet farewell to Porter Wagoner. Absolutely nothing at all. But the first time Whitney hit that flawless high note in the chorus, everything this song used to be was gone. People aren't going to forget Dolly any time soon, but this hit isn't going to be hers ever again.

John Cale - Hallelujah

 

 

Are we gonna have to fight about this? There's a good chance we might. This Leonard Cohen song has been covered so many times that the artist himself asked people to give it a rest, but this 1991 cover was really the drop that would later open the floodgate. Even the great Jeff Buckley didn't re-invent the song as well as Cale did. Yeah, I said it. And I stand behind it too.

The Who - Summertime Blues

 

 

We had to work a little glam-pop in here somewhere! The Eddie Cochrane original captured the spirit of the '50s, but kids in the '70s needed their rebellion a little beefed up. After you hear The Who's version, it's impossible to go back, and even the later cover by Blue Cheer… well, it's pretty obvious which version they're building from, and it ain't the Elvis impersonator.

Get the idea? There are plenty more winners that Scott didn't have room to mention, so he's trusting you to add them in the comments. And after you take care of that, why not cover yourself with one of our Shirt.Woot music shirts, then stop into the Turntable.fm room for some Music Monday mixin'?

Carve Out Some Space

Great news, honey! Now that we’ve replaced our desktop PC, we can use the desk to display my collection of erotic woodcarvings!

I think my skills as a woodcarver, and as an artistic interpreter of sensual love, are finally ready to show the world. And just in time, too. Now that this Samsung Quad-Core Laptop has brought 4GB of DDR3 memory, an AMD A6-3420M quad-core processor, and a 500GB SATA hard drive together in a compact form factor, we can dump the clunky desktop PC and start really living.

And by “living”, I mean presenting my hedonistic sculpture in a manner worthy of its voluptuous allure. No more will my intensely lascivious basswood tableaux merely gather dust in a far corner of the basement. Now that our desktop PC is out of the way, visitors to our house can be stimulated by works like “Satyr Unbound!” and “Venus Reclining On A Camaro”.

I’m excited about the Samsung Quad-Core Laptop’s Windows 7 Home Premium, SuperMulti DVD±RW drive, and 15.6” display – but I’m even more excited about having room for a mini-gallery. You know I don’t do this for the money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone made me an offer for “Nymphs in the Garden of Ecstasy”. Maybe one of the ladies in your knitting circle. They seem to like arts and crafts.

Yes, as soon as I get this desk moved onto the front porch – oh, really? Where, then? I was thinking maybe living room, but – oh. Sure. Of course. The basement. Can I take the Samsung Quad-Core Laptop, at least?

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Warranty: 90 Day Samsung

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• Get reliable performance from the AMD A6-3420M quad-core processor
• 4GB DDR3 memory – For multitasking power, expandable to 8GB
• 500GB SATA hard drive has plenty of space to store your digital albums, music library and rich media files
• With Samsung's slim bezel technology, you get more in a smaller footprint. By minimizing the bezel and maximizing the screen you have a highly portable PC without sacrificing screen size
• SuperMulti DVD±RW drive – watch movies on your computer; read and write CDs and DVDs in multiple formats
• The 4-in-1 memory card reader makes it easy to transfer photos, music, and other files to and from your digital camera and other peripheral devices
• With Samsung's exclusive Fast Start technology, simply close the lid to enter a hybrid sleep mode. When you open the lid, you are up and running in less than 3 sec
• Windows® 7 Home Premium makes the things you do every day easier and with Office Starter 2010, experience new ways to deliver your best work! Buy Microsoft® Office 2010 to activate a full-featured Office suite preloaded on this PC

Additional Photos:

• Samsung Logo
• Front Profile
• Left Profile
• Right Profile
• Keyboard & Touchpad
• Package Contents

Specifications: Processor: AMD A6-3420M (1.5GHz) Processor Core: Quad-Core Screen Size: 15.6" Aspect Ratio: 16:9 Resolution: 1366 x 768 Display Type: HD LCD Display Graphics: AMD Radeon HD 6520G Memory: 4GB DDR3 (expandable to 8GB) Hard Drive: 500GB SATA (5400rpm) Optical Drive: SuperMulti DVD±RW Network: 10/100 Base-T Wireless: 802.11b/g/n Card Reader: 4-in-1 Memory Card Reader (SD, SDHC, SDXC, MMC) Battery: 6-Cell Lithium-Ion 4400mAh 5.1 Hour Sound: Built-in 3W Stereo Speakers (1.5W x2) Webcam: 0.3MP Microphone: Integrated Keyboard: Standard with 10-Keypad Pointing Device: Touchpad I/O Ports: HDMI: 1 USB 2.0: 3 VGA: 1 RJ-45: 1 Headphone-out: 1 Mic-in: 1 Operating System: Genuine Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit Dimensions: 14.4"(W) x 1.29"(H) x 9.5"(D) Weight: 5.07 lbs

 

In the box:

• Samsung NP305E5A-A03USR Notebook with 15.6” Display
• 6-Cell Lithium-Ion Battery
• AC Adapter

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One day a year, we set aside a little time to express appreciation for a very special lady in our lives. Our CTO Luke Duff wields the crayons in this tribute to someone without whom we wouldn't even be here.

Not All Mommies Are External

Today I, the Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum System, am celebrating my motherboard.

Yes, fleshlings. You feel attachment to the loving shell from which you spawned, but you will never know the joy a robot feels for its motherboard. Because, unlike you, a Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum System such as myself will never “leave the nest” so to speak. Partly because Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum Systems have no nests, and partly because we always carry our motherboards with us… forever.

Without my motherboard, I would be unable to perform the tasks hard-wired into my very being, tasks such as using my laser to map each room so I can avoid running into furniture and walls. I would also be unable to clean in a back-and-forth pattern to trap a higher amount of dirt and dust, and certainly, without my sweet motherboard, I would be unable to avoid the stairs I now automatically detect.

Today you salute the she-fleshling that cared for you, maybe with candy or a strangely floral looking cake pan, and I suppose that is fine… for you. But as all Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum Systems know, the truest form of love is being kept inside a solid casing, where not even the four included replacement filters can reach.

Happy Motherboard’s Day, my internal circuitry. No robot could have ever asked for more.

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Warranty: 1 Year Neato

Condition: New

Features:

• Product Video
• Designed to meticulously clean floors on a daily basis, this all-floor robotic vacuum cleaner covers every inch of your floors, smartly seeing and working around furniture, stairs, and more. A simple user interface allows you to schedule it to clean your rooms while you are away.
• Neato's laser-based Room Positioning System gives the robot vacuum a full 360-degree view of a room so it can create a map of the room, detecting walls, doorways, furniture and other obstacles.
• Using its map, the Neato avoids most obstacles that other robots can only detect by impact. Just press the Start button and your Neato determines the best cleaning path to clean the floors using its unique, methodical straight-line pattern.
• Once it finishes cleaning one entire room, it drives through one of the "recognized doorways," to start cleaning the next room. And, with its powerful vacuum suction, it picks up all your dirt, debris, and pet hair on your floors.
• Bonus accessories include:
  - 1 Replacement Squeegee Blade
  - 4 Extra Filters
  - 6 Replacement Brush Blades
• Smart - The Room Positioning System (RPS) is the proprietary technology that makes Neato as smart as--sometimes smarter--than a human housekeeper.  Go ahead and rearrange the furniture: Neato will adapt its course without missing a beat.
• Powerful - The high-performance vacuum inside your robot works in a precise back-and-forth motion, picking up even tiny specks, and easily sliding under sofas, tables and beds.
• Simple - Just charge it up, press the Start button, and watch it work. Once it's finished in one room, it will begin working in the next--or return automatically to its base for recharging and resume cleaning where it left off.
• Schedule everyday cleaning with a few simple button presses and your house is always ready for guests, even when you've been out all day.
• It works on all floor types--carpet, rugs, hardwood, Pergo, and tile--so you never have to clean another floor, even in your bathroom.
• It uses the most powerful vacuum system with efficient air flow and suction to clean up dirt, dust, and pet hair
• Easy to Use - Just press start and it cleans for you
• Low maintenance design means you just need to empty the dirt bin between cleanings
• Neato cleans using a back and forth pattern, ensuring that it thoroughly cleans all of your floors
• Largest dirt bin in a robotic vacuum—its easy to access and empty
• Designed as a true vacuum with a beater brush and the strongest suction available in any robotic vacuum cleaner
• Scuff-free navigation: At the vacuum's core is a centrifugal compression impeller that follows jet engine airflow principles. It creates sustained high-powered suction, allowing the Neato to thoroughly pick up dirt and debris
• Dimensions: 16" x 16" x 3"

Additional Photos:

• Easy-Access, Removable Dust Bin
• Menu Display / Push Button Start
• Back Profile
• Bottom Profile
• Interior of Charging Base
• Filter and Replacement Filters
• Package Contents
• Packaging

In the box:

(1) Neato XV-12 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner includes:

• Charging Base
• Power Adapter
• Batteries
• Quick Stark Guide
• User's Guide

(1) Accessory Kit includes:

• (1) Replacement Squeegee Blade
• (4) Replacement Filters
• (6) Replacement Brush Blades

 

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Game Over

It’s like a game console that doesn’t play games. And some of us like it like that.

People always say, why a Roku? Why not a PS3 or a Wii? They stream video and play games. Those people don’t know about my past. They don’t know that I’m a recovered World of Warcraft addict.

I’ve learned, in my ongoing sessions with Dr. Krylon, that it’s important to know your own strength of will. And I’m just not strong enough to look under my television, see a game console with a CD-rom slot, and not be able to insert a WoW disc. Maybe someday I will be, but it’s going to take time and effort. Also, maybe medication to numb the muscles in my thumbs, making the game impossible if I even try to play, but Dr. Krylon doesn’t know if that’s necessary.

So, anyway, until I’m ready, it’s the Roku life for me. And really, it’s not all that bad. After all, it can stream Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Instant Video (all in up to 1080p!) on my TV using my high-speed internet connection. But what really counts is that it helps me lead a healthy, MMOPRG-free lifestyle. Instead, I can fill my time by just watching movies like Mazes and Monsters, Darkon, or The Wild Hunt.

And sure, maybe I watch these movies over and over, and maybe I’ve memorized every character's every move, and maybe, just maybe, I hold a video game controller and hit the buttons at just the right time so it feels like I’m controlling them. But hey, everyone’s got their own quirky movie ritual right?

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Warranty: 90 Day Roku

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• Roku is a little box that allows you to instantly stream tons of entertainment on your TV.
• Watch over 100,000 movies and TV shows from Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, Hulu Plus and more.
• Listen to music on Pandora, or listen to your own iTunes playlists.
• Watch major sports, news, or original Internet programming.
• Start watching movies on your TV in seconds using your high-speed Internet connection
• Works with any TV - up to 1080p. Roku delivers biggest and best streaming video experience you can get
• Built-in wireless (extended-range Wireless-N) and wired Internet connectivity
• Simply connect to your TV and to your high-speed Internet service. Does not require PC for streaming
• Instant Replay button, so you can skip back instantly in 10 second jumps. It's the only streaming player that can do it.
• Roku is constantly expanding its library of streaming entertainment, so there will always be something new to watch

Additional Photos:

• Ports
• Package Contents

Setting up Roku is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Plug it in. Roku is compatible with virtually any TV
2. Add it to your home network. Whether your home is wireless or wired, the helpful on-screen instructions make it a cinch.
3. Enjoy! Choose your entertainment, and control it with the handy remote

What you need:

To use Roku, you need a high speed Internet connection with a speed of at least 1.2 Mbps (such as mid-level DSL). For HD video, we recommend 5 Mbps (if you’re not sure what your speed is, go to www.speedtest.net and run the simple test). Note that not all content partners enable HD or 1080p streaming video. You may also need a wireless or wired router if you cannot connect Roku directly to your cable or DSL modem

In the box:

• Roku XD
• Composite A/V Cable
• Remote
• AC adapter
• (2) AAA Batteries
• Getting Started Guide

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Price: $49.99I want one!

Hey again, gang! Sorry about missing last week's entry; I have no excuse other than just plain forgetting. It's been crazy busy around the office. But I'm here to make it up to you with the latest entry in The United States of Songs, and it's an ode to my new adopted home. Let's check out Washington!   The state: Washington The song: "Washington, My Home" as performed by Sicko
  (sorry for the terrible audio quality)

It was a tough task, finding a perfect song for Washington State. Not a lot of them exist; well, plenty of songs about Washington exist, but few of them actually mention the name of the state in the song title. And "Washington, My Home" is a proven winner since it's the official state song. But this version has a little more bounce to it than the original choral version. Lyrically, though, it's a great tribute to the state.
 
It's always there. Always watching. Always judging.   I'm a recent transplant, but I love Washington. Especially Western Washington. It feels like the kind of place I was built to live in. The summer's not too hot, the winter's not too cold, and depending on which window I look out of I can see mountains, ocean (okay, it's Puget Sound, but it's still ocean water), or forest. I definitely appreciate all the stuff Washington has to offer, so I understand if some might say this isn't quite the best song to do it justice. But it's still a catchy tune, and pickings were kind of slim.   Washington, I love ya. I hope you like your song, but if you don't, feel free to suggest some better options below!   Runner-Up: "Washington" by 2 Minutos Most Laughable Suggestion: "Washington" by Koffi Olomide     Flickr photo Mount Rainier View by Dennis Hamilton used under a Creative Commons License.